Today we are off to start another round of fertility meds. That's right, Aunt Flo came to town and oddly enough I didn't cry about it. I knew she was on her way...I just know my body. I'm actually feeling good about our appointment and looking forward to getting more answers. So today I get an ultrasound to see how many eggs I've got and how much Clomid I get to take. I did get some good news a couple weeks ago that I have a very good "ovarian reserve." So that's something! I'll take it. I'm basically telling you all of this because I got some good advice to journal everything we are doing medically (and emotionally) so I can look back on it if need be. Welcome to my public diary.
Before I knew I wasn't prego I was dreaming up ways to announce our pregnancy this month. Since we were at the beach I was fantasizing over an announcement with sand and waves in the back ground etc. SO foolish. I hate that I let myself do those sorts of things. It makes it SO hard on myself when I realize I won't be able to follow through with my ideas. Stupid Pinterest. And stupid me. Can you believe that I bought Blair a, "Best Sis Ever" shirt months ago (and brought it on vacation just in case?!)! Idiot. Clearly one of my faults is getting WAY ahead of myself. Would you believe I'm already looking into different clinics for IVF? Yup, you probably would.
I'm crazy. And yet just like so many others out there (I'm starting to realize). I'm learning to take one day at a time and boy is M sure good at helping me with that. I'm like, "How are we going to pay for Blair's college?! IVF is so expensive!" And he's like, "Woah, pony, slow down. We've just completed one cycle." Everyone should be so lucky to have an M in their life. I sure am.
And because I know the real reason you come to my blog is to see her... ;)
Thanks brother Jake for the sweet pics. Put it on my tab. ;)
PS Anyone need a Best Sis Ever shirt in a size 2T? Pretty sure B will be too big for it by the time we need it :/
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I have been reading your blog for awhile, this is my first commenting. I just wanted to tell you...I don't think its foolish in any sort of way. We are all like that, we all like to dream, and think and plan. I think its a good thing! It would be foolish if you would stop doing those things :)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you always. I do the same thing...always think ahead about the next steps. We're human! I hope today goes well for you and you get more answers. Keeping you guys in my prayers! xo
ReplyDeleteAwe thinking of you lady and sending good vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing each month during Ivf. Is figure out what the due date would be and when the first trimester ended so I could announce it. See if it was near a holiday to make the announcement more special. And then each month it didn't work I would be upset but do it again the very next month. Hang in there. And yes Ivf is expensive but 100% worth it if necessary. But M is right, take one step at a time :).
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain mama! I had fertility problems when my hubby and I were trying to get pregnant. We got pregnant on a round of clomid, but I credit the fertility God Kokopelli (and of course God!). Email me at: amanda.powell11@yahoo.com. I'd love to send you the glass that I truly believe brought me luck in our journey to getting pregnant. Hang in there!! 😘
ReplyDeleteYou're totally not crazy..... I'm 100 times worse. I do stuff like that ALL THE TIME - and usually I end up even more upset because of it. I think it's totally normal and part of human nature. Sending positive energy your way!
ReplyDeleteKeep your faith! Stay strong! PMA!! Having been where you are right now I know those are just saying right now, but girl.. I am with you!
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