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Age TWO"Mommy in trouble." - When I rear ended someone last year.
Me: "What are your babies names?"
B: "Two and Five."
B: "I take Baby to Disneyland."
Me: "Who is going to buy her ticket?"
B: "Dada. I need to find his wallet. I need the money in there."
"Mommy there is no reason to be mad at me!" -when getting in trouble.
"I need to put lick stick (lip stick) on for the day." -as we get ready to go to a play date.
"Mommy! Don't put too much make-up on!" -while I'm getting ready.
"Let's read Slap the Cat!"- in reference to a book called Splat the Cat.
Age THREE"Bella (our dog) needs to be on her place because she has a bad attitude. Bella, you're being ridiculous. You're driving me crazy!"
"Mommy, are you happy? You're a cutie pie Mommy." -while rubbing my cheeks after she has gotten in trouble.
"Mom does she have legs? Does she go pee and poop? Is she wearing panties?" -referring to the deceased at her first funeral.
"Mom God is healing me. I have Jesus in my heart and so does Baby."
"Mom, Baby's friends are on the freeway. They are stuck in traffic." -while we were at Disneyland.
B:"What are pretend friends?"
Me: "Friends that aren't real and only you see them. Like Baby's friends."
B: "No! Baby's friends are real! They are dark blue and were at Baby's birthday!"
"Dwarfs are nice pets. We can go get one at the pet store." -while talking about Snow White.
"Mom, when you have a baby you go to the hospital and push real hard. You push with one eye closed."
Oh man I'm sure all the moms out there could add many many more quotes to this list. Feel free to leave some of your favorite quotes from your kid below so we can all laugh about it!