M and I had our blood drawn last week to prove we don't have infectious diseases so we could do IUI today. Turns out Kaiser couldn't process our results fast enough so we had to forgo IUI this month. I'm actually not broken up about it. Less money to spend and we will get the results in time for our IVF consultation at the end of October. I did have an ultrasound done yesterday to see if my eggs (2!) were mature and they were nice and fat. I had one on the left and one on the right...go me! So the nurse gave me my HCG shot in the tush and they expect me to release the eggs in the next 24-36 hours.
Before I left my appointment one of the head honcho doctors called me into his office. I think he called me in because he saw that I requested that my medical records be sent to another fertility clinic. He's not stupid...he knows we're shopping around for the best price and the highest success rates. He said he wanted to review my file and when he did he said there's no reason for me to be in there. He can't believe I'm only 31 and am struggling to get prego. He said there's no reason for this...that I'm young, healthy, and have already had one child. Preach, doctor, preach! All of this to say that he swears with just one IVF cycle I'll be pregnant. If I had money for every time a doctor told me I would be pregnant soon...
He wants our business. I know that. So, he offered us some free testing for M (one last check) and said if we aren't prego after this month he wants to review our case one more time. AKA he doesn't want us to go somewhere else. M and I feel like the ball is in our court now. We're planing on going in there with guns blazing and telling him that we found a cheaper place with a higher success rate. It's amazing how bold you get when you want a kid. ;) Time to put on my bartering hat!
I've had a lot of pregnancy announcements this week, all from good friends and one extra special announcement that my sis-in-law is having TWINS!!! And I have to say I'm truly happy for each one. This is surely grace from the Lord. I think I'm so hopeful about IVF that I'm choosing to be positive and not compare my life to others around me. My time will come. I'm confident God hasn't forgotten about me. I know He has a good and perfect plan for me. And I know when our time does come I'm going to be a puddle on the floor, weeping over how good He is. I just can't wait for that!
This week Romans 1:21 really spoke to me, "For although they knew
God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their
thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened." This was a good reminder to me to thank God even in the hard times. I don't want my heart to grow hard/bitter/resentful and one way to avoid that is to be grateful every day for what I've already been blessed with.
I realize it's OK to have the occasional pity party but I don't want to live my life in a constant state of depression. It takes work, but with God's help I know I can fight against this and that the Holy Spirit will bring me peace.
And with that we are headed to Disneyland tonight to celebrate a friend's birthday...yippee! We're hanging with my family a bit this weekend and headed to a pumpkin patch. All things to be happy about. I hope you all have a great weekend!