I had a lot of hopes for Logann's birth but was trying to keep my mind set as flexible as possible. I wanted to remember that no matter how she entered the world, as long as we were healthy then that was a good thing.
I mentioned that my "plan" was to have a natural birth. I had an epidural with Blair and the twins (in hind sight if I had had different doctors with the twins I wouldn't have needed one. C'est la vie). You can read Blair's birth story HERE and the twins HERE.
On Monday my doctor checked me and I was dilated to a 4. He stripped my membranes (again) and this time I hardly noticed...which meant my body was more ready for labor. The baby's head was farther down. He mentioned that he was on call in the hospital on Wednesday and that after that he wouldn't be on call till July. I LOVE my doctor and really wanted him there for delivery so we decided to schedule an induction. He knew that I wanted a natural birth so he suggested breaking my water on Wednesday as opposed to Pitocin. He figured I was "ripe for the picking" and that that would get things going quickly.
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| My doula and best friend helping me to stay in control during transition |
After talking things over with him, my doula, and Matt we decided I was a good candidate for induction and I headed to the hospital on Wednesday morning. They broke my water at 12 and at first I didn't notice much while sitting in bed. My doula texted me to get up and walk around and that definitely got things moving. I had contractions that I could walk and stand through for about an hour and then things started to get serious.
I asked for the bosu ball and spent the rest of my labor on that! My doula arrived around 2:30 and I was really feeling it. She helped me to stay in control of my breathing. In through my nose and letting it out slowly through my mouth. For me, it really helped to hum while letting out my breath and to rock on the ball. Motion and noise helped distract me from the pain. I kept drooling because I was so focused on my breathing I couldn't even swallow my spit! In hindsight it is hilarious. The pictures are awesome haha. Listening to worship music by Lauren Daigle also soothed me.
Once I started transitioning I was getting desperate. I kept asking "How much longer?" because for me it helps to have a deadline on my pain. There were moments when I said I couldn't do it anymore and that I was going to need the epidural. At that point I was so close to delivering but didn't know it yet. I was repeating "I can do anything for one minute and one day" over and over in my head. I also had to remind myself of other women I knew who had labored naturally and that if they could do it then I could do it! The last thing that I told myself was that this was temporary. I wanted to meet the goal I had set for myself.
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| Realizing it's a girl |
My doula reassured me that I COULD do it and to focus on my breathing. She reminded me that I was strong, that I was made for this, and that I wanted this! Minutes later I started to feel the familiar "pressure" down there and told her my body was starting to push on it's own. She told me to stay in control while she told the nurse and doctor who apparently were standing right outside my door waiting for her green light. They came in, I had one more contraction on the ball and then they helped me onto the bed. The next contraction I pushed half of her out and then had another half contraction and the rest of her came out. One and a half pushes?! I'll take it!
The amount of relief I had after that was overwhelming. So much so that I didn't even ask/look to see what the baby was till after they had laid her on my stomach. I was so glad to be done laboring! When I did ask they picked her up and I was the first to see it was a GIRL!!! I was SO surprised and happy! My whole pregnancy I was telling myself that it just made sense to have a boy but deep down I had a feeling it was going to be a girl. My body carried Blair the same way.
And yes while it would be nice for Cal to have a brother he has three boy cousins his age who live right down the street... he will be just fine! And I have to admit... he is my special boy and I kinda like having him all to myself as my little boyfriend. He's going to make a great husband one day that's for sure!
After realizing I had had a natural birth I was on top of the world! I shouted, "I am a CHAMPION!" so loud I'm sure the nurses station heard me haha! I also said, "I can't believe all you stupid people who do this!!!" Which then my doula reminded me that I was now one of those "stupid people." Haha. My doctor was laughing and just said, "See? This is what all births should look like!" He was beaming and so was I. The emotion and joy in that room could not be matched. I'll never forget the feeling of realizing I had done something that seemed impossible. It must be similar to running your first marathon and crossing the finish line.
The Lord met me in so many ways that day. From little things to big things. I got a full night of rest the night before. I labored and had Logann at a super convenient time which allowed my Mom, doula, and photographer to be there without too much trouble. My labor was fast. Pushing was minimal. I didn't tear (bonus!). My doctor delivered my baby. I didn't need an epidural. Baby and mama were healthy. My kids were able to meet her shortly after. My milk came in and has been plentiful (nipples are currently being chewed off but that's another story). And it was a GIRL!
God. Is. Good. And I realize not everyone gets their perfect birth experience. And if I didn't then guess what? He's still good and I would have learned something from that too. He is always refining us! And let me tell you... four kids is refining LOL. My time has come!
Let me know if you have any questions below! I'm an open book! :)
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