Fam Bam

We enjoyed an evening walk on the beach last night. And lucky for us Daddy arrived! Pretty grateful for our little fam :).

Love this sweet girl! Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! 

Pool Babies

Yesterday my friend Brooke and her sweet baby, Harper, joined us for a day at the pool. The girls were so cute together and I'm pretty sure Blair was convinced that Harper was her real life baby doll.

Melt my heart! Have a great Thursday! 

No Reason

It seems that every day is great for Blair until she wakes up from her nap. This dumbfounds me. Who is grumpy AFTER a two hour nap?! Ugh. My kid. She's needy, has melt downs, and lately has been telling me "There's no reason to be mad, Mommy."

Let's just say I had a gigantic bowl of ice cream after I put her to bed last night. This probably will work against me as the naughtier she is, the fatter I get...

Sigh. Nonetheless she looked cute last night at dinner. Whoopee. I've got a cute monster on my hands...

Shorts: Carter's 

Sweatshirt: roxy at nordstrom 

Flip flops: rainbow outlet

Stains on sweatshirt: dinner 

Anyone else dealing with naughty toddlers?! Defiant little suckers they are...

Books are for Babies

Thanks for all your sweet comments yesterday! I'm always so encouraged by your sweet words. :)

We're still on vacation mode over here and someone has really been soaking it in with her morning paper. ;) She really did ask me to read it to her. Such a Daddy's girl. We'll be at the beach for another week and a half so if that depresses you then you might wanna check in later! ;) 

Today we're headed to Dana Point for a little tide pool action. Life's a beach. ;) 

Lessons from Blair

Two year olds can really knock your socks off sometimes. Blair did that for me this weekend. As we were standing at the shore watching Daddy paddle board she asked me to pick her up. I obliged and said I would love to. She then clearly stated that "Mommy does not have a baby in her tummy." I agreed with her, knowing why she said this.

You see, her Aunt Tiffy is due very soon with Blair's first cousin and we have told her lately that Tiffy can't pick her up anymore because she has a baby in her tummy. And since I was picking her up, by default I do not have a baby in my tummy. Two year olds. What logic! But then what she said next brought me to my knees..

"Mommy, Jesus will help you." 

And there you have it. Lessons from a two year old. Her words were very matter of fact and oh so true. 

Now to be honest she didn't come up with this all on her own. Every night when we put Blair to bed we pray. About how thankful we are for things like pajamas, fingers, and mac n cheese (you know, all the very important things). But then we also pray about actual important things. Like a baby for our family. And mommy and daddy to be patient while we wait for that baby. And for Jesus to help give us a miracle. Because that's what we need. 

So my sweet two year old girl reminded me of what I need to focus on. That Jesus will help me. He hasn't forgotten about me. And good grief if I'm telling her to ask him for help when she needs it, then I better be following my own advice. 

And for the first time just like that I'm hopeful again. I see how Jesus was using Blair to speak peace to me. That he is there. Waiting to help me in his time. 

And so we stood there for a while longer enjoying the breeze blowing across our faces. My face may have been a bit more salty and moist than hers though ;) 

Thanks baby girl for keeping me in check. You continue to amaze and encourage me. 

Thoughts

I just started searching around Pinterest for some articles on dealing with Secondary Infertility (hello, what have I been waiting for). I found a lot of helpful articles/blogs that chronicle different stories of SI. And boy, once I started I couldn't stop reading! 

And then my sis-in-law stumbled upon "What not to say to people facing secondary infertility" and the article couldn't be more spot on. Not that any of you have been insensitive but some people are and this would be good for them to know...

1. STOP IGNORING HER: If you've never struggled with primary or secondary infertility or if you're currently pregnant, don't assume you can't support her. Don't distance yourself from her, stop inviting her to your important events and don't forget to check in with her if she's a bit distant. 

2. STOP ASKING IF SHE'S PREGNANT YET It's stressful to hear this over and over again. I'm sure when she get's pregnant she will tell you, but please don't keep asking... we spend enough time wondering why we're not yet. 

3. STOP TELLING HER IT COULD BE WORSE: For her this is the hardest thing she is dealing with. Of course it could be worse but that doesn't make this any easier.

4. STOP ASKING WHY SHE WANTS MORE: It's insulting and when a family decides to expand, it's probably not a one-person decision and was made with lots of thought. Just because someone has other children, it doesn't make their infertility any less hard.

5. STOP GIVING ADVICE: Don't tell her to relax or to just adopt, or give up or any other unsolicited advice. She doesn't want you to "fix" her or offer your non-medical opinions, but she wants to be heard.

6. STOP ASKING WHY SHE'S SO DEPRESSED: And stop discouraging her from talking about her feelings. If you genuinely think she is, then that's different, but if you think she just spends too much time trying to control things she can't -- that's not a helpful thing to assume she's overreacting in her feelings.

7. STOP ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY: and don't always talk about how you always accidentally get pregnant. However, don't also feel like you can't talk about your pregnant life too. The best thing is to feel the room -- give her space to talk about her struggles and give her space to listen to yours.

8. STOP TELLING HER TO BE GRATEFUL: It's insulting to be told that you should be grateful for the children you have when you're talking about secondary infertility. We don't need to be told to be grateful, we are and our pain over infertility has no baring on our other kids.

9. STOP COMPARING HER PATH WITH SOMEONE ELSE: Something I hate hearing is the comparisons over "who has it worse". Don't tell her she's lucky to have kids when someone else has been dealing with primary infertility. Don't tell her she's lucky that it's "only been a year and not two". It diminishes our path and emotions and it's not exactly supportive.

Again, not because all these things have been said to me (although a few have) but because I think it's important to educate yourself on things that can be truly hurtful/insulting without you even realizing it. I think most people have good intentions but sometimes their words still hurt. 

{Stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord. Exodus 14:13}

Stand firm- keep the posture of an upright man, ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long before God shall say to you, "Go forward." - Charles Spurgeon

PS I'll be at the beach for the next couple weeks so be prepared for some sparse posts. Hoping some vacation time will be good for me. :)

• It's insulting to be told that you should be grateful for the children you have when you're talking about secondary infertility. We don't need to be told to be grateful, we are and our pain over infertility has no baring on our other kids.
• Stop Comparing Her Path with Someone Else 8 of 8
  
  Something I hate hearing is the comparisons over "who has it worse". Don't tell her she's lucky to have kids when someone else has been dealing with primary infertility. Don't tell her she's lucky that it's "only been a year and not two". It diminishes our path and emotions and it's not exactly supportive.
• Stop Ignoring Her 1 of 8
  
  If you've never struggled with primary or secondary infertility or if you're currently pregnant, don't assume you can't support her. Don't distance yourself from her, stop inviting her to your important events and don't forget to check in with her if she's a bit distant.
• It's insulting to be told that you should be grateful for the children you have when you're talking about secondary infertility. We don't need to be told to be grateful, we are and our pain over infertility has no baring on our other kids.
• Stop Comparing Her Path with Someone Else 8 of 8
  
  Something I hate hearing is the comparisons over "who has it worse". Don't tell her she's lucky to have kids when someone else has been dealing with primary infertility. Don't tell her she's lucky that it's "only been a year and not two". It diminishes our path and emotions and it's not exactly supportive.
• Stop Ignoring Her 1 of 8
  
  If you've never struggled with primary or secondary infertility or if you're currently pregnant, don't assume you can't support her. Don't distance yourself from her, stop inviting her to your important events and don't forget to check in with her if she's  infertility. We don't need to be told to be grateful, we are and our pain over infertility has no baring on

Read to Me

Yesterday we went to the library with a couple of friends and had such a great time! I'm seriously impressed with our downtown library. They provided story time along with some music and a parachute activity. Then following that our school district was there giving out free (healthy!) lunches along with a bunch of brand new Disney books for Leapfrog. I was SO impressed by our tax dollars at work. I made sure we got our money's worth. ;)

Needless to say we will be back to the library very soon! Blair talked about it the whole week, "We go to library today? The library has a parachute." Big surprise that that was her favorite part. Nevermind the thousands of books on hand...

Pining for Pineapple

First of all I have had an overwhelming outpouring of encouragement from all of you. So many people I have never met have been filling my inbox and facebook messages with such sweet words. Your stories/advice/concern make me feel so blessed. I am so grateful that God is surrounding me with people who care. It sure makes a big difference in my moral to know how hard you all are praying. Thank you!

And to distract myself  I've noticed that the pineapple trend is in full force lately and I think it's pretty cute! I scooped up this pineapple sweatshirt for Blair a couple days ago and am looking forward to taking it with us to the beach this weekend. So adorable! Here are some more of my pineapple pics below...

shirt

sweatshirt

wall art

blanket

moccs

purse (on sale!)

headband

shorts

Those moccs are calling my name!!!

Cee Lo The Duck

Let's take a break from infertility shall we? ;)


My cousin Ashley and her fiance, Sean, are getting married on October 11! Unfortunately Blair and I are in my best friends wedding in Tahoe the same day. Womp womp. We're so excited for them none-the-less and look forward to supporting them in their marriage!

Sean and my cousin Ashley

My cousin's fiance, Sean, just wrote a great book called Cee Lo the Duck and is generously giving it away for FREE...Today only! If you have a Kindle be sure to hop on over to Amazon ASAP. Also, if you would like to leave a review on the Amazon page for the book AND a comment on my blog stating your email (so we can send it to you) you will be entered into a $25 Amazon gift card! Woot woot! This is a no brainer, mamas! 

Cee Lo the Duck

About the Book:
The Adventures of Cee Lo The Duck features a young duck who is accidentally placed on a farm with chickens. Slowly, Cee Lo adjusts to life on a farm, but doesn’t feel he fits in. During a BIG twist, Cee Lo has to use his special talents –something all of the other chickens are afraid to do, to help save the farm!
This is an exceptional children’s book with beautiful graphics and illustrations. The kid’s story finds a great balance between inspiring its readers and keeping children engaged. It teaches timeless lessons about fitting in, believing in oneself and accepting others for their unique and special talents

What inspirited the book:

The Adventures of Cee Lo the Duck is based on the real story of Cee Lo the duck who lives with actual chickens in Dana Point, CA.

Why I wrote the book:

 Several of my friends are having children and I wanted to share something with them to help encourage their children to pursue their dreams and work hard to accomplish their goals in life. Sometimes can feel that they don't fit in because they don't excel in a particular area or field of life, however we each have special talents that make us unique and can help others.

About the Author:

Sean Tiner grew up in Laguna Beach, CA. Like Cee Lo, Sean felt he didn’t always fit in with peers. He searched for his talents and he had to work hard to accomplish his goals in life. Eventually Sean applied his passion for swimming, learned water polo and went on to play for Brown University earning All-Ivy League Athletic Honors. After earning a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations, he went to the University of Southern California and earned a Masters in Communication Management. When he is not directing digital marketing for large organizations, he enjoys stand-up paddle boarding and mountain biking. 

PS my iphone has been resurrected!!! So happy to have a fast-acting hubby who bagged it in rice within minutes!

Buzz Kill

Well this weekend was sure one for the books. On Friday I had my ultrasound which was underwhelming. I started with four eggs and only one of them matured. Bummer. Then my doctor discovered that the other half of M's test results were in and the conclusion was no bueno. I'll spare the details but basically the "fault" now rests on both of us. We're pretty sucky at this baby making thing. She then proceeded to tell me that our already low percentages of getting pregnant were now cut in half. Yup. 50%. So that puts the likelihood of us conceiving at a whopping 5%. Including the help of medication/insemination etc. Not great odds...

So, yeah. My weekend was lame. Add me dropping my phone into our pool and the cake is frosted. RIP iphone, it was good knowing you. :/ As if we can afford a new one of those right now with infertility bills knocking on our door.

I know. I'm a total buzz kill right now but I couldn't help feeling pretty disappointed this weekend. I know that God performs miracles all the time in the medical field. Things that happen and none of the doctors can explain it other than being a miracle. Well that's what I'm holding onto right now. At 5% we really do need a miracle. I believe God can do it...it's just a matter of His timing...that's the hard part of course.

So now we wait. Insemination happened on Sunday and I start taking progesterone on Wednesday from here on out until my cycle starts (or I'm pregnant!). If it were up to me I would choose the latter. ;) Then we either start this crazy madness all over again or concentrate on keeping that baby cookin. I love baking, God, so let's cook a baby together, yeah?! Har har.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention one of the people who help me get through this infertility thing every second of every day. Of course my Blair is the best medication out there. She is just turning into the most lovely little girl a mama could ever ask for. Her questions surprise and humor me. Her kisses and  hugs melt me and she is hands down the best distraction around. Thank you baby girl for all you do and you don't even know it. Mama loves you SO very much.

Again and again thank you for all your well wishes, prayers, and encouragement. It makes a big difference! Despite my super crappy weekend I know God is still in control. But I'm human and I can't be Cindy Sunshine all the time. The good comes with the bad...

Park Date

Yesterday I got to spend some quality time with one of my bffs. Her son and B had quite a fun time hanging out at the park while we got to catch up. It's the little things that are really big things. Thanks for adding some fun to our week, Rikki! 

Today I'm off to get an ultra sound to see how things are progressing. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. Prayers appreciated! Have a beautiful weekend, Loves! We're hangin at home this weekend and I'm pretty stoked about it!

Can I Have S'More?

We've been having great weather lately with warm (but not too hot) days and cool breezes at night. So last night I was on a mission to use our firepit and roast some 'mallows for S'Mores. I got skewers on the clearance rack at Target along with the other necessities and we were set! My brother and his gf joined in the fun along with our roomie, Sam, of course. :)

everyday is no pants day lately

oh my wrinkles...welcome to 30

M informed me that Blair's hair looks a little mullet-ish. ugh. i need more toddler hair inspiration that doesn't require a million of those tiny plastic hair ties.

delightful

sweet summertime

And if you follow me you know I successfully gave myself a shot of Menopur yesterday. Yay me! Grow, eggs, grow! :) Maybe that's why I wanted S'mores so badly yesterday. I deserved it!

Lunch Date

Thank you sweet friends for all your kind words yesterday. Your support means so much to me! We've been hanging pretty low around here lately since Blair has been potty training. But yesterday we ventured out to have lunch with a friend. I arrived with good intentions in the form of a homemade lunch for B but once she saw the Cheetos that came with my sandwich it was all over. Homegirl basically ate Cheetos and a bag of fruit snacks for lunch. Mom of the year over here. Don't worry, she washed it all down with soda. Kidding! The girl has never even had juice yet. Mean Mom, I know.

Afterwards I snapped a few pictures of her since she would allow it. I swear that girl sometimes just REFUSES to take a picture. She also can be a hater when it comes to being videoed too. She's one tough cookie. I've been meaning to chronicle some of the things she's been enjoying/doing/saying like the "old days"...

I had to include this. We take potty in the back of the car now because she has a crazy fear of how loud the toilets are in public restrooms and refuses to go. Anyone else hear me on this one?! She FREAKS. So, you do the math. Yup. We drive around town with poo poo and pee pee in the back of the car often. So glamorous.

She had a great nap later that day (and I did too!). Then we finished up the evening with some swimming in the pool with Daddy. A pretty good summer day if you ask me!

And lately she has been waking up around 11 or 12 at night screaming her little head off like she's had a nightmare. I usually go in and soothe her and then she's fine it's just super weird. I'm wondering if she's starting to develop a fear of the dark? Any other mamas dealing with this? Happy Wednesday!

dress: Marshalls

hair pretty: georgia and jane

jellies: old navy

undies: carter's