(In)Fertility Friday...Finding Joy

     Everyone has their ups and downs. Last week was hard but this week I've had lots of little encouragements to stay positive and I'm going to try darn hard to stay in this place with God's help. In the gentlest way God has been giving me small lessons through Blair, my devotionals, and other blogs.

     Earlier this week I was teaching Blair that she doesn't always get what she wants...even when she says please. I went on to tell her that even when she doesn't get what she wants, she still needs to be grateful and joyful. I thought about myself and realized I don't always get what I want either...even when I beg and plead, yet I am called to proclaim God's mercy to others and be content in my circumstances.  Lesson learned (hopefully).

     I was also immensely encouraged by my devotional this week, "God often delays in answering prayer. Paul asked the Lord three times for a thorn in his flesh to be taken from him, yet he received no assurance that it would be removed but instead a promise that God's grace would be sufficient for him. If you have been knocking at the gate of mercy and have received no answer, shall I tell you why the mighty Maker has not opened the door and let you in? Our Father has personal reasons for keeping us waiting. Sometimes it is to show His power and His sovereignty, so that we may learn that God has a right to give or to withhold. More often the delay is for our benefit. You are perhaps kept waiting so your desires become more fervent. God knows that delay will quicken and increase desire, and that if He keeps you waiting, you will see your need more clearly and will seek more diligently, and that you will treasure the mercy all the more on account of the wait. Or God makes you wait for a while so that He may display the riches of His grace more abundantly in the end. Your prayers are filed in heaven and if not immediately answered they are not forgotten, but in a little while they will be fulfilled to your delight and satisfaction. Do not allow despair to make you silent, but continue to present your requests to God." Charles Spurgeon

     Finally, one of you lovely readers sent this blog post my way and it really challenged my thinking. I love the whole post but this part stuck out to me was when the author stated how miserable she was because she felt that if her son were to be an only child the rest of his life he would miss out. Miss out on sibling rivalry, having a close relationship outside of his father/mother, and just being lonely. Until one day it hit her...a sibling would not fill that void...only Christ can. Regardless of whether or not this boy had a sibling he would still deal with disappointment, loneliness and, faulty relationships and she couldn't save him from that...but Christ could. The was a huge epiphany to me! The hardest part about secondary infertility for me is swallowing the fact that I wouldn't be able to give Blair what she wanted...companionship through a sibling. I felt like a failure. But I finally realize she doesn't need a sibling to save her. She needs Jesus for that. Phew. ;)

     If you are still reading this I applaud you. :) You must really care about me! Ha ha. I don't bare my soul in this place to be negative, judged or criticized but so others know how to better pray for/encourage me and others in this situation. Thank you for praying for me to find joy in my circumstances and for all the sweet emails you send my way...they make my day!

     Last night we celebrated advent by visiting the Christmas Encounter at the Grove. Blair loved seeing all the animals and they always do a great job!

After we hit up the photo booth: a wiseman, goat, and baby Jesus all under the star. :)

Have a lovely weekend!