Pretty positive this month was a bust but I kind of knew that going into it. With the cysts that were seen at the beginning of this month I knew our chances were low. I took a test on Wednesday which came back incredibly negative and I'm not wasting another $4. So it looks like next week I head to the doctor to see if the cysts went away on their own. If not, I get to have them removed...lucky me! I hear it's no big deal though. And I'm definitely not jumping on the Clomid bandwagon again...that did me a whole lotta no good. Looks like it's me, Matt and Progesterone for a while now!
Emotional
Each month comes with disappointment of course but at the same time it's getting less and less. I don't know if it is because it is what I've come to expect or because I'm trusting God's timing more? Either way I'm less of a basket case and honestly some days I wonder how I could handle more than Blair? On Wednesday she gave me the biggest run for my money yet and I considered the lack of baby in my belly a sign. Two is going to be tough and maybe my type A personality isn't ready for that yet?
Spiritual
I mentioned that I'm choosing to trust God's plan for our family more and more. There are moments that I catch myself in a frantic downward spiral of "what ifs" or "Blair is going to be married by the time we have another kid!" But it all comes back to being confident in faith as I wait for His plan of deliverance to unfold. I know God will never lead me where He can't deliver me and that is reassuring. When I am tempted to complain because God isn't rescuing me via the shortest route possible I need to remember that He is protecting me. He cares for me and loves me and knows exactly what I need and when. And that gets me through my darkest hours.
And because donuts and this girl
I wish I could wear my skeleton jams at the donut shop and look this cute!
Loving the donut date! Perfect for cheering up:)
ReplyDeleteI feel weird posting this as a comment but I just talked to one of my good friends yesterday about her (long) journey to becoming pregnant she tried manyyyy things and one day a friend suggest pre-seed lubricant. Her and her husband used it and became pregnant! She told me she tries to connect with other ladies struggling to tell them to use it because she has seen now 2 other friends successfully become pregnant using this lubricant! Kind of crazy to think lubricant can help but this pre-seed kind I guess can help! Sorry if this comment wasn't appropriate I just wanted to share what she told me!
ReplyDeletedon't feel weird! i'm open to any and all advice :). we actually do have pre-seed and used it for a while with no luck but that was before I got my hormones fixed. Maybe i'll give it a go again? Thanks for the reminder!
DeleteYou can get pregnancy tests for $1 at dollar general or the dollar store. Or you can buy them in bulk for cheap on amazon. Same for opts :)
ReplyDeletedo you think they work as well? i have some from amazon that are cheap but i swear they don't work as well as the others.
DeletePraying for you always, God has a plan and sometime it's bigger than we can see in the moment.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same boat and I've finally (after 5 years) accepted that it just might not happen and to fully give it up to God.
ReplyDeleteNat, how many pairs of the freshly picked does she have and what color does she wear the most? I've been thinking about getting my toddler a pair or two.
ReplyDeleteshe has quite a few pairs. some are still too big. She can wear a size five or six but i've been buying six lately so they last. she currently has four pairs of size six. :)
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