There were so many things that I could have titled this blog post. Such as, "emotional roller coaster," "nursing nightmares," "sleepless in seattle riverside"... Needless to say last night was difficult. Blair is just not a fan of her co-sleeper and likes to be near her mommy. I have a rule against baby in bed but am finding it so difficult to maintain this notion. When you only get 1-3 hours of sleep a night you become desperate... I've begun to dread nighttime because I never know what is in store for us. Sigh.
This morning we had a lactation consultation appointment. I felt like I was in a college course on breast feeding 101. SO much information! And while it was helpful, I was feeling overwhelmed by it all. There is just so much to think about with positioning of the baby, positioning of the nipple, positioning of the chin, keeping my fingers back, lining my thumb up with her nose, listening for swallows every 6 sucks, and squeezing myself like a sandwich so she can get a good latch. There's more but I'll spare you. Blair did very well at the appointment and the nurse said "no more nipple shield" which is like telling a 4 year old "no more training wheels." And since my emotions have been running like that of a four year old, what did I do when I got home? Cried. A lot. Blair wouldn't latch like she did at the doctor's office and when she gets upset, I get upset. I was in pain and feeling defeated. I know these things take time but I'm running on empty and it's hard to be patient. PLEASE pray for us to figure out this whole nursing thing. I just feel like I've had to learn something new practically every time I feed her. First it was the bottle, then the nipple shield, and now real breast feeding. If I was a rich celebrity I would pay to have a lactation nurse live with me 24/7.
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| praying for good breast feeding |
I did learn that Blair is continuing to gain weight, which is good! The nurse also said she was a "gourmet eater" which is an indicator that she will be more of a type B personality. A little more laid back and easy going. Yet another one of Matt's traits... (this is good!).
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| looks like daddy and acts like daddy! |
Tomorrow my best friend is taking Blair's newborn photos and I couldn't be more excited! I can't wait to dress her up in cute beanies and tutus and prop her up all darling like this. :)
Other exciting news is that B's belly button scab fell off! She didn't have much of one because the nurses had to cut hers very short/off to input all her feeding tubes but nonetheless it's gone now!
Oh man, you are totally prepping me for what's to come. I can only imagine how tough this period is but it WILL get better. It really will. She is so so sweet! Cannot wait to see the newborn pics!
ReplyDeleteOh Natalie, I remember those days... a wise friend once said to me... Even though this is a TOUGH ...... it is such a small window of time in your child's life....embrace it because it will be gone before you know it! Hang in there Girl, you are an amazing women and God doesn't give us anything we can't handle!
ReplyDeleteHi! My name is Pam - you don't know me :) I found your blog through clicking on links to another friend's blog who has recently been diagnosed with treatable breast cancer. I am a Christian mom to two grown daughters - both of whom I breast fed - the oldest for 11 months and the youngest for 13 months.
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is beautiful and I have been praying for you!
My older daughter was born 3 weeks early and my youngest daughter was born 4 1/2 weeks early. It is hard in the beginning to be a mom when there is no longer the ability to get a full nights sleep! That is soo hard on the emotions. However, it does get easier - really!
I can remember with breast-feeding having some soreness at first (not sure if you have that) but I wanted to breastfeed so badly (even though I am not a "natural-back-to-nature type) and I persisted and the soreness did go away. My pediatrician wanted me to give my second daughter (the one born 4 1/2 weeks early)a bottle every other feeding because she was a bit of a lazy nurser, but I refused and she learned to nurse and did fine. I just thought breast feeding was healthier for the baby.
My oldest daughter was quite fussy about what position I would use to nurse at first. I can remember trying everything - putting her on a pillow, holding her this way and that way. I found it hard to "just relax" (which I was told was the best thing to do) as she could be so fussy. But fussy and all she ate enough and grew just fine. Eventually she also "learned the ropes" and nursing became much easier. So really there is hope even if it is hard now!
I always had my babies in a separate room from the first night they came home from the hospital and I have no "advice" on sleeping with baby. Besides you should follow your own heart and do what is best for you and your baby! I just personally did not like all those little noises newborns make so when they were in a separate room I did not hear the noises but my mom ears had no trouble hearing them cry. That said the baby's room was right next door and I know that is not true in every house.
This is sure a long post from some stranger... I pray Blair will learn to nurse quickly and that you will be able to have some much needed sleep. I liked the reminder from Itzglae above that God does not give us anything we can't handle - I needed to be reminded of that today.
she is soooo darn cute! my sis in law recently had her baby and she is also having trouble breast feeding and doesnt enjoy it bc baby bites. my nephew is also fussy at night and they also find themselves having to take baby out of the sleeper and into their ams. hang in there!! you have a beautiful little family :) sending prayers your way!
ReplyDeleteNatalie! You're doing great! Nursing a baby is a huge learning curve and while some have an easier go at it than others, the process of learning each other (Mom and baby) is the same. Maybe that's why God has those newborns "practice" so often ;) Also remember that part of your emotional craziness is because your hormones are all out of whack, not necessarily because you're doing it "wrong" or she "isn't getting it"... this too shall pass :D
ReplyDeleteAbout the co-sleeping... while I trust that you'll figure out what is best for you and Blair, I just wanted to point out that there is definitely no "shame" in breaking your own "rules", especially in motherhood! Becoming a mother is a learning process! I think I've made about a thousand rules since I got started 4yrs ago and the Lord has shown me over and over again that He is in control and that as long as I'm seeking His Will for how I can serve my family best, then I am on the right track :D and that is far more important than others' opinions or rule changing :D
Hang in there sister! It WILL get easier...