(in)Fertility Friday

Man, what a crazy week. I feel like I drove all over Southern California for my doctor's appointments and to frantically pick up my medication. My blood pressure was through the roof yesterday after arriving 25 minutes late (thank you so-cal freeways) to my appointment I've waited two months for. This can't be good for baby making!

Speaking of appointments, we had ours with the new clinic. I was hoping that it would be obvious to as which clinic we should go with but it wasn't. The new place is very impressive and known nation wide. But until we confirm the total cost as compared to the other place we can't really make a decision yet. And of course the type A in me just wants to know NOW and move forward!

The new place did remind me that because of my insulin resistance I am to be eating NO carbs from breads OR fruit like bananas. Insert crying face here. Obviously this also means no refined sugars...a.k.a. dessert. For a while I was told that since I'm not overweight this wasn't a huge deal. Now I'm back to square one again where eating is absolutely no fun. AND I'm supposed to eat crazy clean through my whole pregnancy!!! Luckily Matt is on board with eating clean too which helps a ton. And really if I'm pregnant I'm pretty sure I will be so happy that I'll forget all about brownies. Maybe...

Medical
I had an ultrasound at the new clinic and it did not appear that my egg was mature enough yet for my planned HCG shot tomorrow. I have another ultrasound today with the old clinic to check it. I have a feeling I will be giving myself the shot on Saturday or Sunday instead. I did that on purpose so I could be extra scary on Halloween and give myself a shot in front of all the trick-or-treaters. Muahahahhaa. ;)

Emotional
I'm feeling good. The success rate at the new clinic is so awesome so I'm encouraged by that. I'm definitely anxious about all that IVF entails with being put under anesthesia, daily shots, bed rest etc. but I know it will all be worth it in the end. IVF is a huge deal and incredibly hard on the body and I think I don't know the half of it. And I know most people are completely clueless about the process. I hope to give others a real insight to what it all entails. Oh, and the likelihood of me having twins is really high so there's that...

Spiritual
I enjoyed the notes from my Bible study this week, " When Jesus reprimands us, He changes us. He may choose to use difficult circumstances, but He never causes needless pain. He redeemed us, and He graciously empowers us to live a new kind of life for His glory. God always preserves His people. He designs and controls all of our circumstances. No matter how hostile the environment, the Lord enables us to remain faithful as we look to Him. Jesus never simply watches from afar. He orders and enters into the battles His people face. He strengthens with His Word. The ideas and stresses you face do not surprise Him. God's work in your life will shine forth to bring Him glory." 

I like the part that says He never causes needless pain. That reminds me that He is in complete control of my situation and knows what I need and can handle. He knows that our infertility is painful but He also knows that it's drawing me nearer to Him and how necessary that is for my growth as a believer. It's hard to imagine now but I know one day I will be truly thankful for this season of my life and the beauty that came out of it.

I hope you all have fun trick-or-treating this weekend! We had some Halloween fun at Disneyland with a friend yesterday.

Gah! They are so precious it just melts my heart!