Man, what a crazy week. I feel like I drove all over Southern California for my doctor's appointments and to frantically pick up my medication. My blood pressure was through the roof yesterday after arriving 25 minutes late (thank you so-cal freeways) to my appointment I've waited two months for. This can't be good for baby making!

Speaking of appointments, we had ours with the new clinic. I was hoping that it would be obvious to as which clinic we should go with but it wasn't. The new place is very impressive and known nation wide. But until we confirm the total cost as compared to the other place we can't really make a decision yet. And of course the type A in me just wants to know NOW and move forward!

The new place did remind me that because of my insulin resistance I am to be eating NO carbs from breads OR fruit like bananas. Insert crying face here. Obviously this also means no refined sugars...a.k.a. dessert. For a while I was told that since I'm not overweight this wasn't a huge deal. Now I'm back to square one again where eating is absolutely no fun. AND I'm supposed to eat crazy clean through my whole pregnancy!!! Luckily Matt is on board with eating clean too which helps a ton. And really if I'm pregnant I'm pretty sure I will be so happy that I'll forget all about brownies. Maybe...

Medical
I had an ultrasound at the new clinic and it did not appear that my egg was mature enough yet for my planned HCG shot tomorrow. I have another ultrasound today with the old clinic to check it. I have a feeling I will be giving myself the shot on Saturday or Sunday instead. I did that on purpose so I could be extra scary on Halloween and give myself a shot in front of all the trick-or-treaters. Muahahahhaa. ;)

Emotional
I'm feeling good. The success rate at the new clinic is so awesome so I'm encouraged by that. I'm definitely anxious about all that IVF entails with being put under anesthesia, daily shots, bed rest etc. but I know it will all be worth it in the end. IVF is a huge deal and incredibly hard on the body and I think I don't know the half of it. And I know most people are completely clueless about the process. I hope to give others a real insight to what it all entails. Oh, and the likelihood of me having twins is really high so there's that...

Spiritual
I enjoyed the notes from my Bible study this week, " When Jesus reprimands us, He changes us. He may choose to use difficult circumstances, but He never causes needless pain. He redeemed us, and He graciously empowers us to live a new kind of life for His glory. God always preserves His people. He designs and controls all of our circumstances. No matter how hostile the environment, the Lord enables us to remain faithful as we look to Him. Jesus never simply watches from afar. He orders and enters into the battles His people face. He strengthens with His Word. The ideas and stresses you face do not surprise Him. God's work in your life will shine forth to bring Him glory." 

I like the part that says He never causes needless pain. That reminds me that He is in complete control of my situation and knows what I need and can handle. He knows that our infertility is painful but He also knows that it's drawing me nearer to Him and how necessary that is for my growth as a believer. It's hard to imagine now but I know one day I will be truly thankful for this season of my life and the beauty that came out of it.

I hope you all have fun trick-or-treating this weekend! We had some Halloween fun at Disneyland with a friend yesterday.

Gah! They are so precious it just melts my heart!

     The last couple of days I enjoyed some sweet, sweet time away from home with just M. Our thoughtful friends in our small group gifted us a night away along with dinner/breakfast at the Mission Inn Hotel. We (finally!) got around to using our gift this week and we SO enjoyed it! I love the Mission Inn and we had such a relaxing time just the two of us. We walked to the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner...it's not fancy but it's SO yummy! Afterwards we cruised around the shops downtown, grabbed cupcakes, and ate them in a pretty courtyard at the hotel. One of the nicest things was not having to do the bedtime routine or the wake up routine with Blair. Sometimes you just  need a break! (Thanks Gramma and Grampa!).

Our view

Banana pancakes in bed..what a treat!

The next day I roped Matt into checking out an antique shop. He whined the whole way there and then guess who found something he liked in the store?! Yeah you know who. He picked up a cool vintage kitchen scale that I'll have to share on here later. It's very Magnolia Farm! ;) See, M, shopping can be fun!

It sure feels good to be home for an entire weekend! M was seriously productive with some yard work around the house and I caught up on some chores. I was able to take a break from laundry and take Blair to a local shopping center where we went trick-or-treating with some friends.

This year she had an opinion about what she wanted to wear for Halloween and there was no denying her. While I'm more of a fan of DIY costumes she opted for Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Sigh. I knew this day would come! Either way she sure did look cute in her costume!

Later that night she asked to go to fro-yo. We couldn't deny her.

This week I plan on taking her to Disneyland and letting her wear her Belle dress. I'm pretty sure she's gonna flip her lid. ;) What are you and your kiddos planning on being for Halloween? This is the first year we're not dressing up as a family. :(

     Last week I got the worst and best news.

     I decided to take a pregnancy test early in the week so I would know if I could drink or not at my best friend's wedding. After I waited the 3 minutes I squinted and STOP IT there was a faint line!!! I was cautiously hopeful because let's be real...I've had a false positive two other times. My biggest reservation was that I had had the HCG shot 12 days before that and I knew it could still be lingering in my system. The next day I had my blood drawn and the results were POSITIVE!!! My HCG levels were at 20 which was normal for someone who was only 3 weeks pregnant. Over the course of the weekend I took a pregnancy test every day to see if the line was darkening (good) or lightening (bad). At first I was off to a good start. Then on Saturday the line was lighter. A horrible idea to take the test the day of my bff's wedding, I know. And again on Sunday...light. I was crushed. I knew not to get my hopes up but I couldn't help myself.

     On Monday I went in for another blood draw and the results were what I had feared...another early miscarriage. My HCG levels had dropped to 14 and to say I was devastated is an understatement. I sobbed the rest of the day. Why was this happening for a third time?! It seemed so unfair. I was worried this would send me into another bout of depression but by God's grace I woke up the next day feeling ok.

     Matt and I decided to pray and find some Bible verses that would encourage us the next morning. There were SO many good ones but here are a few of my faves:

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Psalms 27: 13-14 I remain confident in this,  I will see the goodness of the Lord in this life. Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. 

Proverbs 3: 5-7 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your won understanding, in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes.

     So that was all of the bad news but here's the good news...our health insurance called us a couple of hours after we had spent time in the Word and told us we were almost 100% covered for IVF! Hold up, WHAT?! I got the call in the driveway while pulling into the garage and I started sobbing for the second time in 48 hours. However, this time it was tears of joy. How could God be so good?! He knew I needed some grace. He knew I was desperate for a sign to show that he was still near. I just can't get over his perfect timing. Now, it's still going to cost us some money but $3,000 is a lot more reasonable than $20,000! This was a huge answer to prayer and I am so so grateful for Matt's new job.

     I know this was all part of God's plan for us and I see that now looking back at the timing of all of this. Needless to say Matt will be staying with this current company till we're done having kids. ;) There are a lot of details to iron out with the insurance but as far as we know we are covered for 4 tries of IVF. Um, yeah I'll take that. Now let's just pray we don't need any more tries than that! Actually I'm not even going to worry about it. God has taken care of us thus far and I know he will continue to be faithful.

     Here's where we are now...I'm doing one more round of Letrozole along with an HCG shot this month because we have an appointment with another clinic to get an IVF quote on Thursday and we want to hear from them before we choose where to do IVF. You can be praying that God makes our choice clear and gives us wisdom. They are also running a TON of miscarriage blood tests on me as well as starting all the blood work I need done for IVF. Along with that I am getting tested for genetic problems such as cystic fibrosis and gene translocation. Basically if I have a gene for a genetic abnormality they will then check M to make sure he doesn't have the same problem. And in the small chance that we do then they will test our embryos to make sure they are 100% healthy. So. Much. Science. I'm learning WAY more about baby making than I ever had imagined. I just hope to help others with the same problem one day!

We have had no shortage of trips to the pumpkin patch this year that's for sure. We celebrated a friend's birthday there Tuesday night and had a great time checking out the different pumpkins. The kids went for a pony ride and I'm convinced Blair needs one for Christmas. Pure joy on those kids' faces!

Thanks Jojo for the wagon ride!

Yup...the kids were driving us batty ;)

So much trouble in our future!

Blair's dress: vintage gap
Blair's boots: Old Navy
Blair's hair pretty: Little Elle Boutique

For a while now I've been seeing this MADRE shirt popping up all over Instagram. I finally bit the bullet and purchased one as a gift for my friend's birthday. Riley and Co was kind enough to send one to me as well and I've been loving it! The shirt is by American Apparel and is the softest, coziest tee around. There are SO many ways to style this bad boy...here are a few I came up with!

Rainy Day Mom

Lunch with Other Moms

Casual Mom

Sporty Mom

Chic Mom

The shirt does run small (I ordered a large) so order at least one to two sizes up from what you normally wear. This tee would be a great gift for any mamas in your life...new or seasoned! Now I just need a "Padre" one for M...

My best friend officially tied the knot over the weekend! We had so much fun being a part of her wedding at Regale Winery in Los Gatos and of course I have a ton of photos. Once the photographer sends the good photos our way I can't wait to share! For now I have a few pictures of my cutie flower girl. :)

Medical: Still playing the waiting game.

Emotional: I'm honestly just looking forward to IVF. Our consultation appointment is October 29th and since we start on day one of my cycle it looks like mid November will be when we start the process. I've been reading more and more about it and man it's no joke. First they put you on birth control (weird, right?) and suppress your ovaries and then they flip a switch and stimulate them like mad. Sounds like fun! It's going to be wild but completely worth it. 

Spiritual
We heard a sermon last Sunday about The God Who Sustains (by Matt Furby). I'm convinced it was written for me. He talked about the tree choices that we have when going through a trial.
1. We can wallow and give up
2. We can worry and mess up
3. We can worship and look up

I realized I'm really good at all three. ;) I tend to cycle through wallowing, worrying, and then finally worshiping. My goal is to remain more consistently in the worship stage. God has sustained me through the last two years and trials previous to this one. He sustained me when Matt lost his job, when I lost my job, when Blair was in the NICU, and recently by giving us new health care coverage that has partial infertility coverage. Nothing else can sustain me and for that I am joyful and thankful.

1 Samuel 17:37 The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the bear and the paw of the lion will now rescue me from the Philistine (Goliath). This verse is in reference to when David killed Goliath. He remembered how God had been faithful in the past and how he knew God would be faithful in helping him defeat Goliath.

We're off to my best friend's wedding this weekend and I can't wait! All three of us are in it and we're pretty excited to be a part of their special day. Pictures to come!

A few days ago Blair and I headed to the grocery store to grab some necessities. Clearly, pumpkins are a necessity so we picked some of those out. She remembered seeing a mini shopping cart in the parking lot a few days before and asked if she could push her babies in it. After trolling the parking lot we finally found it in the last row. Crises averted. Once we picked some pumpkins out for us, Blair chose some for her babies as well. She told me that, "Baby and Tinker (Baby's friend) are obsessed with pumpkins." Oy. I wonder who she gets that from?! ;)

Hair pretty: happiness lives here, wonderful shirt: old navy, cat leggings: carter's (last year), moccasins: freshly picked

Halloween prints are in the Autumn Designs and Co. shop! Make sure you enter the Instagram giveaway for a chance to win your own! (@natyouraveragegirl). Giveaway ends this morning at 10 am. I'm LOVING the phrase "Treat yo' self" for Halloween. Mildly appropriate, right? I for sure want to make a banner for a treat table with that saying. :) Framing one of the chalkboard prints below would also be an easy way to add some festive spirit to your entry way or dessert table.

Hey guys! I'm excited to have Katherine from Modernize sharing here today. We're talkign all things gallery walls and she's got some great tips/tricks and styles. Check it out!

 

Inspiration: Gorgeous Gallery Walls

By Katherine Oakes

Many of us try and fail, or semi-fail, when it comes to home decorating trends that have a tendency to make us to feel like Martha Stewart’s untalented little sister, with only a fraction of what it takes to really pull something off. Despite this, we still yearn for at least one corner of our home that makes us and our guests go, “Wow”.

At Modernize, we get it—and we feel passionate that improving and designing your home should be fun and not make you feel like a failure. The great news is that gallery walls are such a thing and are even meant to be a little off-kilter and totally unique, making it a whole lot easier for you to make your home décor quirky, charming, and oh-so stylish.

Here are 6 gorgeous gallery walls to get you inspired.

 via bloglovin

Large Photography

If you struggle with finding the right pictures to hang on your gallery wall, and abstract isn’t really your thing, an easy solution is to use your own photos. Choose a few that you love and that go well together—maybe even tell a story—and have them enlarged, printed, and framed. You’ll love the way that this gallery wall embodies “less is more” while still making a beautiful and simple statement.

via Pinterest

Monochromatic Color Palette

Not for the faint of heart, assembling a gallery wall with a monochromatic color palette can feel restricting—but fear not, the payoff is worth a little bit of struggle. Use photos and pictures with the similar colors (monochromatic is many hues of the same color) and feel, and find a frame with a complementary color. In this case, what makes this gallery wall work so well is the playfulness of faded black and white pictures with a muddled navy blue and off-white or eggshell tone mixed in. Bonus points if it matches your furniture.

 via Pinterest

Focal Point

Identifying a focal point for a gallery wall is not only an easy way to arrange your décor—it can also serve as a dramatic and eye-catching statement piece. Pick something big, bold, and beautiful that will stand out among the rest of your items—this way it won’t be confused with or have to compete with something of equal size and stature—and watch your wall shine! 

 via Preppy Paradise

Symmetry

Like an Olsen twin, gallery walls are famous for their messy-but-somehow-pulled together look. The intentional mismatched designs make them fun, however, it can get away with the complete opposite, too—also like an Olsen twin. This requires some careful preparation and laser-focus while measuring, so it’s important to take your time and create equal spacing (3-5 inches in between is usually good) between your photos to create the effect of perfect symmetry. ‘Cause perfect is what your house looks like anyway, right? Right. 

via Emily Henderson

Artwork and Texture

If you’ve always wanted to start your art collection, now is your chance. Gallery walls are the perfect opportunities for featuring pieces that you love, whether that means a chaotic crayon drawing by your toddler or an interesting painting that captured your eye at a flea market.

Get playful and take chances! Incorporate different types of art for a display of contrasting textures, like soft water colors, hard and sharp sketches, or chunky acrylics. Let your inner art critic be your guide. 

 via Apartment Therapy

Unique Frames

For a sophisticated salon-inspired gallery wall, punch up the old-world glamour a bit by placing your photos in frames that are as interesting as the pieces themselves. Certainly don’t hold back on color, size, or design, but do be sure that your wall doesn’t end up looking a little dense and overcrowded. Pick a tasteful array that mixes like gold baroque-style frames with old wooden ones that have that hand-carved feel, and your wall will be cozier and more colorful than you could have imagined. Trust us, it’s a good thing.

 Thanks again Katherine for stopping by and giving us all some inspiration for our homes. I sure do love a good gallery wall and these were no exception!

This weekend one of my best friend's and I attended a local wedding. Her hubby had to work so I happily took his place! I ended up knowing the majority of the guests because the bride and I used to swim together in middle school and high school, which was fun. The wedding was SO gorgeous and the photos don't do it justice. It was a crisp October at about 95 degrees so don't mind my dewy face. ;)

my dress: loft, necklace: stella and dot

It was a beautiful evening and this mom sure enjoyed her night out with a friend. Congrats to Courtney and Justin...cheers to happily ever after!