Buzz Kill

Well this weekend was sure one for the books. On Friday I had my ultrasound which was underwhelming. I started with four eggs and only one of them matured. Bummer. Then my doctor discovered that the other half of M's test results were in and the conclusion was no bueno. I'll spare the details but basically the "fault" now rests on both of us. We're pretty sucky at this baby making thing. She then proceeded to tell me that our already low percentages of getting pregnant were now cut in half. Yup. 50%. So that puts the likelihood of us conceiving at a whopping 5%. Including the help of medication/insemination etc. Not great odds...

So, yeah. My weekend was lame. Add me dropping my phone into our pool and the cake is frosted. RIP iphone, it was good knowing you. :/ As if we can afford a new one of those right now with infertility bills knocking on our door.

I know. I'm a total buzz kill right now but I couldn't help feeling pretty disappointed this weekend. I know that God performs miracles all the time in the medical field. Things that happen and none of the doctors can explain it other than being a miracle. Well that's what I'm holding onto right now. At 5% we really do need a miracle. I believe God can do it...it's just a matter of His timing...that's the hard part of course.

So now we wait. Insemination happened on Sunday and I start taking progesterone on Wednesday from here on out until my cycle starts (or I'm pregnant!). If it were up to me I would choose the latter. ;) Then we either start this crazy madness all over again or concentrate on keeping that baby cookin. I love baking, God, so let's cook a baby together, yeah?! Har har.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention one of the people who help me get through this infertility thing every second of every day. Of course my Blair is the best medication out there. She is just turning into the most lovely little girl a mama could ever ask for. Her questions surprise and humor me. Her kisses and  hugs melt me and she is hands down the best distraction around. Thank you baby girl for all you do and you don't even know it. Mama loves you SO very much.

Again and again thank you for all your well wishes, prayers, and encouragement. It makes a big difference! Despite my super crappy weekend I know God is still in control. But I'm human and I can't be Cindy Sunshine all the time. The good comes with the bad...