Day 4

BLAIR UPDATE

 

Today was very encouraging which is why I am able to be back on my blog. M was so sweet to keep everyone updated here since I was completely beside myself and exhausted. While leaving Blair last night was the hardest thing we have ever done (I sobbed the whole way home) it was good to get a little more sleep. The staff at Kaiser is amazing and encouraged us to call throughout the night whenever we wanted. We checked in on her when we went to sleep and again right when we woke up. 

This morning when we called the nurses and doctors said she was still on a breathing machine but her blood gas levels were improving. We raced to get out the door and see her this morning. I was determined to put on a brave face and prayed for a lot of strength. When we arrived Blair was content in her isolette and her “team” was busy deciding what steps to take next. I was SO encouraged to see so many doctors and nurses who cared so intensely about Blair and her well-being. They had such a great attitude and reassured me that Blair is going to be just fine and that she just needs time so her lungs can mature. She still seems to be working hard when breathing but it is amazing how positive doctors and nurses can really change your outlook on things. God knew that we needed some good news and I really think He hand-picked these specialists just for us today. 

 

This morning I was able to have some “skin to skin” time with Blair and she actually nursed for the first time!!! I don’t think I have ever been so elated. It was such a special bonding experience and she was studying my face with her little eyes. This was also a huge deal because she really hasn’t opened her eyes much at all thus far. We are getting to know each other and when she is with me her “numbers” (heart rate, repertory rate, and oxygen levels) improve. It feels so good to know that I calm her and she is relaxed in my arms. Matt also got to hold her today. He told me he was going to snooze while holding her but I knew he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of her and sleep. I was right. She sure is Daddy’s little girl in so many ways! She looks SO much like Matt and we just think she is precious. 

MOMMY INSIGHT 

Today I realized that I have been so focused on how difficult this situation has been that I have overlooked all the blessings we have encountered through this experience. First, my mom pointed out to me that this experience has glorified God greatly. It’s funny because I had been praying for Blair before she was born that she would be a woman of God who makes choices in her life that honor our Lord. Well, she made the choice to arrive early which has forced Matt and me down on our knees and because of Blair, He is being glorified. While this is not the way I would have chosen to do this, I can see how He is working in other people’s lives through our situation.

Second, this may seem silly but I have been blessed with the gift of pumping milk! If you are not a parent you may not understand how important this is (especially to a baby who is premature). Blair desperately needs the antibodies that my milk produces and I have been able to provide that for her. God is so good and knows exactly what I/she needs. Got milk?

Third, we have been blessed with such generous and helpful friends and family. I really don’t even know where to begin. The day Blair was born Matt’s family trekked over to our house and put away all our things from our big move, put together all of Blair’s equipment (swing, high chair, strollers etc.) and unpacked all our boxes. It was such a relief to come home and have everything in place. My parents have been bringing us meals to the hospital around the clock, going to the grocery store for us, stopping by our house to pick things up for us etc. M’s mom even waited at our house while the wireless internet was installed. Friends installed all our new appliances in the kitchen, have been stopping by the hospital with food, dropping off premature baby items (since I wasn’t expecting this I didn’t have any), etc. But most of all everyone we know, and some people we don’t, have been praying fervently for our dear little Blair. Friends of friends have been sending encouraging messages of similar experiences in the NICU, telling us heartening Bible verses, and reminding us that God is in control. He was not surprised by Blair’s early arrival at all. In fact, He had it planned all along.